I do hope my little threat had explained it all to Lord Henry,he is obviously still in love with me.But the more I acted vile towards him,he still wanted more.Oh so he likes the ice maiden act now does he? It’s true though,I can not bare the thought of my little sister’s heart being broken into pieces by his brother.For all know he could have a secret wife and children hidden away.Oh Gisele you have been reading far too many novels.Mama is right ‘Gisele you must get your nose out of those books and live in the real world.’ But as I lay on my death bed,longing for the fever to take it’s toll.I was lost in my wonderful wonderful world of shakespeare.Be it running away with romeo to feeling nothing but sympathy for Ophelia when she starts to lose her mind in Hamlet.Sometimes I feel like I am like the very mischievous fairy Puck in Midsomers Night Dream lied and deceived my husband all of my married life. Or Hero in Much Ado About Nothing,just like her I was attracted to Claudio in my case Declan and Benjamin on the first encounter.How I long to be the pure sweet innocent Juliet once more.
It had taken a lot of courage to walk into the drawing room,all of the guests were so absorbed and wrapped up in their own little conversations,to my relief I initially thought I was somewhat invisible.I should be so lucky,for as soon as I had entered the room.It felt as though the whole world stood still.They all looked towards me,as though I was a complete stranger walking into a cocktail party uninvited.Louisa was ordering Benjamin around as though he some man servant.
‘Oh Benjy,I wish you would stop slouching,and do button up your top button.’
But all of that soon changed,when she saw me it was as though she has a split personality.She draped her arms around his neck. ‘Oh Benjy,I can not wait till you and I are alone together.’ She kissed him passionately.Was that for my benefit? So he was telling the truth? For he is trapped in a loveless marriage,just as I am.The only difference is I haven’t married someone that resembles my Mama.
Holly whispered to Evangaline.’Who is she trying to fool?’ giggled Holly. ‘What would Lucille say if she was here now.’
‘Gisele should have divorced Oliver,for Benjamin is simply divine! Jokes aside I have no sympathy Lord Henry chose his bed he should get on with it.’
‘It’s only because he didn’t chose you? Besides you have the dark and moody Lord Arthur.You can’t have cake and eat it all once.’
‘You’re comparing Arthur and Benjamin to cakes?’
‘I have heard Mari say it before but I don’t fully understand it….Speaking of cakes,these cupcakes Louisa has brought are simply divine.’
‘I’m surprised Louisa hasn’t laced them with poison?’
‘You never know,she might be saving the deadly cupcake for Lord Benjamin? After all didn’t she just marry him for his small fortune?’
Louisa and Lord Benjamin walked towards me,ok Gisele don’t give him the satisfaction and make eye contact with him.
‘Louisa,good day to you Lord Henry.’
‘Good day to you Lady Rickman.’
‘Oh less of the minor details,for I have been longing to give you your present.’
‘Where are Esme and Ava?’
‘With Oliver I should imagine? It’s a gift I picked up from Rome.’
‘You really shouldn’t be spending money on me Louisa.It’s not even my birthday.’
‘Nonsense,no expence spared.’
She passed me a small rectangular box,I opened it and inside was a beautiful scarf.
‘Made from the finest silk.’ added Louisa.
‘I don’t think Gisele cares about the minor details Louisa,it’s a scarf?’
‘Benjy,forgive me but you don’t appreciate the fine art of fashion like Gisele and I do.On honeymoon all we ever did was trudge around frightfully dull art galleries and gaze at paintings that I didn’t give a jot about.’
‘Louisa I think we did more than that,we had fine wine and food that only you could imagine of.’
‘Mostly looking at architechture,yawn yawn.’
‘We danced until dawn.’
‘What has gotten into you?’
‘….I mean take this shirt,that Benjy is wearing,they don’t match his cufflinks.’ she sighed.
‘Don’t you listen to a word I’m saying?’
I cut sense the frosty tension between Louisa and Benjamin,it was a complete contrast to the their wedding day.They were so full of love,Louisa was head over heels in love with this gentleman.I was completely lost for words,what’s happend to the adorable Louisa,she never had a bad word to say about anyone.That quiet little dormouse that had previously hid behind her brother has rapidly changed into this insane Lady,on some power trip.I felt embarassed to witness this scene unfold in front of me.
‘It’s beautiful,thank you.’ I smiled.
‘Now if you excuse me I have important people to circulate with.
And with that Louisa left us alone once more.
‘I am so sorry that you had to witness that Gisele?’
‘I had no idea things had become so bad between you two?’
‘Now do you believe me?’
‘I am speechless Lord Henry,have you told her about us?’
‘Do you think you would be left in one piece if Lady Henry knew about us? If our affair was revealed then she would have dragged you by the hair onto the ballroom floor…’
‘Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing?’
‘What the grabbing of the hair?
‘Louisa knowing about us?’
‘Yes…No.I don’t know Lord Henry.I just don’t understand her sudden change of heart?’
The dinner bell was rang.
‘Dinner is served!’ said one of Mama’s maid servants.
I casually picked up the bottom of my white gown and followed Holly into the dining room.
We all sat down at the dining room table,yet again Esme and Ava were carted off into the nursery.Times like this I miss Marseilles,it breaks my heart to be parted from my children.I noticed the empty seat next to me,where is Holly,she is fully aware that Mama cant stand bad time keeping.
‘I believe congratulations are in order Tom,a beautiful baby daughter.’
‘That is a beautiful name.’ said Marianna.
‘I named her in tribute after your dear sister Lucille.’
‘That is terribly sweet of you Tom.’ sobbed Evangaline.
‘Well I was very fond of your sister Lucille,after all I have a lot to thank her for.If it wasn’t for her wouldn’t be where I am today.My business is thriving.’
‘I’m so happy for you Tom.’I smiled.
‘A toast to Lucille Alexandria.’
I looked over and Louisa,acting Lady of the Manor placing a napkin onto the lap,she insisted that Lord Benjamin did the same.
‘I wish you wouldn’t make such a fuss.’ Murmoured Lord Benjamin.
Letitia was admiring a brooch that Evangaline was wearing.
‘It’s a gift from Lord Arthur isn’t it sweet of him?’
‘It’s beautiful,you’re a very lucky girl.’
‘Holly thinks he is frightfully dull and I shall throw him over once the month is up.I feel that he is the one.’
‘Don’t rush into anything Evangaline.’
‘Are you saying that you don’t approve of Arthur?’
‘Look at Gisele,she is the prime example of why you shouldn’t rush into marriage.Barely has a smile upon her face,plagued with tragedy.’
‘You are right she is the shadow of her voluptious self.’
‘It’s been a trying year for her Evangaline.’
‘Will she ever get over William?’
‘I should imagine you can never get over losing a child believe me I should know.’
When Letitia married Mark,they were blessed with a beautiful baby girl they were going to call her Eva,she carried this secret around her until the death of my beautiful William.
‘Mark and I were ever so happy that we were fit to burst,our only little bundle of joy.’
‘Why didnt you tell me of this before?’
‘I was so ashamed,I thought that I was to blame for this.’ she sobbed.
I took hold of Letitia’s hand.Tears rolled down her cheek.
‘We were going to call her Eva,Eva May.’
‘That explains it all? When I announced I was carrying Ava?’
‘It all came flooding back to me Gisele….Mark and I we’re so heartbroken…We wanted to have a child we truly did.But alas that wasn’t the case Doctor Bryany confirmed that I was barren our whole dreams shattered.’
I watched Holly enter the room she sat down at the table beside me.I leaned towards her and whispered in her ear.
‘Is my eyes deceiving me or are your hemlines getting shorter?’
‘I think you need to live a little Gisele,no wonder you’re husband is growing bored of you.’
‘He sat next to his new found friend Countess Tatiana.’
I looked over and I saw him lost in conversation with Tatiana,I felt a knife piercing my heart.
‘He doesn’t care for her.’
‘I beg to differ Gisele,take your gown for example,I know you have just recovered from a frightful fever,but you’re gowns used to so seductive and less of the demure look,you are going to lose your Oliver to the femme fatale.’
Lady Antoinette ‘Is there something wrong my dear?’
‘Yes,who invited the black widow? Trying to steal away Gisele’s husband.’ teased Holly.
‘The Countess Aleksandrov,I have you know is a respectable woman of society,so I forbid you to lower your tone in her prescence.’
‘Yes Mama.’ said Holly.
‘Honestly Holly,you should conscentrate more on finding yourself an eligible man of means and fortune.Not analysing the current state of your sister’s marriage.Is your marriage in trouble Gisele?’
‘Don’t be so absurd Mama.’
‘You may be a married Lady Gisele,but you’re still young enough to put over my knee for a good thrashing…Now stop slouching Holly and eat your soup before it gets cold.’
‘I wouldn’t mind putting you over my knee for a good thrashing.’ whispered Lord Henry.
He gazed into my eyes once more.I got up from my chair. ‘I’m just going to check on Esme and Ava,don’t miss your wife too much Oliver.’
I walked out of the dining table and headed straight for the bedchamber I share with Oliver,I noticed my butterfly mirror on my dressing table and threw it against the wall in a jealous rage.I watched as the fragments of glass flew in all directions before eventually falling onto the ground.I sunk onto the floor,is this what has become of me? I’ve never been the jealous type.I dried away my tears,I long to see my children they can not see their Mama in this state.The journey to the nursery seemed like an age,I saw Ava and Esme playing on the floor together,my heart melted.
‘Have you been left alone?’
‘No Mama Charlotte was with us.’
Ava walked towards me ‘Have you been crying Mama?’
‘No my darling Ava,Mama’s just tired that’s all.’
My darling little Ava so wise for a girl of four years old.I can’t believe I will be almost losing my baby to school.I would prefer Ava and Esme to be home schooled,but Oliver states how are your girls expected to grow socially if you do not let them go from your apron strings? Ava is quite intelligent for her age,she’s like a mother hen to her little Esme taking her under her wing.Kind of reminds me of how Letitia and Marianna were towards me when I was a little girl.Esme looked at me her heart oozing of love.
‘Please don’t die Mama.’
She clutched onto me for dear life,nuzzling into my hair,it breaks my heart that Esme is aware of death at such a young age,but she’s lost her Uncle Carl and brother William in such a short period of time.I know I can’t wrap her up in cotton wool forever,but I should like her to protect her from the world a little while longer.These small precious years are so important,Oliver and I should be treasuring our little girls while we can.As it may come a time when they don’t need us anymore.
‘Oh Es,why do you say that?’
‘William died didn’t he?’
How can I tell my beautiful baby girl who is barely three years old the truth.I can’t possibly look her in the eye and say,Mama isn’t going to be around forever and that they aught to adapt to the stiff upper lip and get on with life,like I’ve had to.No that’s more Lady Antoinette’s style of dealing with difficult situations either that or leave the nanny to tackle the challenging questions.For once I feel as though it’s all right to avoid the truth.
‘Mama is never going to leave you,I promise you.’
‘Cross your heart and hope to die.’ said Ava.
‘Stick a needle in your eyes?’ said Esme.
‘Your eyes silly.’ said Ava.
‘Where did you hear that?’
‘Auntie Holly.’ said Ava.
Wait until I get my hands on Holly,I sighed to myself. ‘Cross my heart,you girls mean everything to me.I love you more than waterfalls,sugarcanes and unicorns.’ I smiled.
Whenever the children are feeling upset I play a little game with them called I love you more.
‘Can I play Unicorns Mama? said Esme.
‘No Es,Mama hasn’t the energy for you to ride on my back.Maybe when Daddy is upstairs….’
Ava looked towards my rocking horse that’s gathering dust in the corner.
‘No,she means that Unicorn silly.’ giggled Ava.
I love to hear Ava’s laugh,it’s so sweet and innocent warms my cockles so to speak.I gently lifted my precious little Esme onto the rocking horse,she rocked back and forth.
‘This used to be your Mama’s,before I had my Cossack.This was the original Cossack,I used to play up here for hours.Your Auntie Mari and Letty playing with their beloved dolls.Holly and Rosaline dressing up your Gran Mama’s finest clothes and pretending to be getting married to their handsome princes.’
No change their then?
‘They used to sit in the same spot as you are now Ava.’
‘Mama,will you and Daddy ever have other children?’ asked Ava.
I was completely lost for words,Ava what is with all of the questions? I recall Mama saying her tiresome Holly was as a girl of Ava’s age,but that was because she said Why? a lot.The truth wouldn’t make any sense to her…I’m so sorry darling,but you’re daddy and I are no longer in love with one another.He’s sleeping with the Russian Witch behind your Mama’s back,and you’re Mama’s not so sweet and innocent she’s embarking on a passionate affair with your Uncle Benjy.So sorry to break it to you,but there will be no more children in the Rickman household and as for your sister Esme.Her dear father Jack,killed your Uncle Carl.I felt a hand touch my shoulder,I turned around.
‘What do you want?’
‘I came to see if you were all right?’
‘Go and get changed for bed girls.’
‘We’re not sleepy.’ said Ava.
‘I will kiss you goodnight and read you a good night story.’
Charlotte walked in. ‘Come on girls,run along.’
‘Thank you Charlotte.’
I closed the nursery door behind me.
My sister Marianna’s attention was elsewhere,she was keeping a close eye on my husband’s wandering eye with the russian black widow.
‘Lord Rickman,is your pride hurting right now? Would you like Tatiana to kiss it better?’
‘Now’s not the time of day Tatiana,I should be with my wife right now?’
‘Tell me,do you trust your wife Lord Rickman?’
‘You no right to ask about my marriage Countess Aleksandrov.’
‘You can conceal all my desire my Lord.But I sense,is the Lady of the house truly happy?’
‘I don’t think that’s any of your concern.’
‘Lady Isabelle informed me about your Wife’s colourful past.Not so innocent flower,turns out to be a naughty little nymph?’
‘I love my wife.’
‘Isn’t it about time,the Lord had a bit of fun of his own? Come on we’re all conscenting adults?’
I looked at Benjamin.
‘I don’t appreciate your innuendos at the dinner table Benjamin.’
‘You haven’t complained before?’
‘That was in our own private little world?’
‘Oh I’m sorry did I make the lady blush?’
He tried to kiss the back of my neck,I brushed him off. ‘It’s not funny Benjamin.’
I walked away from him and headed towards my bed chamber there I found the fragments of glass upon the floor.
‘What’s happend here?’
‘That’s seven years bad luck.’
‘I think I’m far beyond that…watch your step.’
‘I should say the same thing to you?’
He looked at my feet.
‘My shoes we’re pinching me.’
Benjamin picked me up.
‘My hero I mocked him.’
He placed me down upon the bed.
‘I would like you to start from the beginning?’
‘I was so hurt,I grabbed the first thing that was within my reach.’
‘That’s your favourite mirror?’
‘Not anymore…An engagement gift from Oliver.He’s with her now isn’t he? The perfect little russian doll Tatiana.I’m losing Oliver.’
‘Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?’
‘Not like that Ben,He’s slipping through my fingers.’
I started to pick up the broken mirror,he stopped me in his tracks,pulled my face towards him.
‘I want you.’
‘You made your vows,as have I.We’re bound to them.’
Benjamin touched my face. ‘Louisa, doesn’t care for me,and neither do I.’
‘Please don’t speak of her that way.’
‘You saw what she was like?’
‘Married life is all new to her,she’s finding her feet.She truly loves you,I know she does,the way she looked at you on her wedding day? I could run off with you,dream of happy endings.But he’ll always find me.I could have a different man in every city but it won’t break the hold he has over me.’
Benjamin cradled my head against his chest,I could hear his heart beating heavily.
‘As long as I’m here,Lord Rickman is never going to hair a strand of hair upon my pretty fair maiden’s forehead.’
‘My hero?’ I mocked him.
‘I mean every single word my Lady,I will protect you from the darkness.
I kissed his fingers.
‘When are you returning to Versailles?’
‘Please do not remind me Lady Gisele,for I can not bare the thought of being alone with her.’
‘She’s your wife?’
‘Only in name.’ He sighed.
Tatiana had followed Oliver upstairs.
‘Countess, do I have to spell it out to you more clearly?’
‘Please my Lord.’
‘The desperation card isn’t a good luck,I’ve turned many ladies down for such a thing..’
‘Well I could be the exception,I could be the woman of your dreams.Something your wife is sadly not.’
‘I want nothing more to do with you.’
‘Your wife lacks true emotion she is only made of stone.’
‘How dare you judge my wife,you barely know her?’
‘I’m judging her on her performance tonight,she barely said two words to you.Not very attentive is she?’ she sighed. ‘Oh dear poor Oliver,what are we to do with you?’
Countess Aleksandrov moved closer towards him.
‘Come now Lord Rickman there is no need to act so coy around me? It’ll be our little secret? Your wife will never know the truth,you have my word.’
I freed myself from Benjamin’s clutches.
‘Is something the matter?’
‘I think we should be heading back downstairs.’
‘Mama will be searching a search party for us.The children?’
‘Are asleep I should imagine?’
‘I promised Ava and Esme that I would read them a bed time story.’
‘When do you ever get a moment to yourself?’
‘I’m a wife and mother.’
‘I’m sure Charlotte has it all under control.’
‘They will still be awake,they always have a kiss good night off their Mama,and you should be with Louisa?’
I edged closer to the door.
‘They will be starting on cigars and brandy in the drawing room? And I should be circulating and entertaining the guests?’
‘Gisele,I do not want to be in the company of small minded people.’
‘I shall tell Mama you said that?’
‘When all I care about is standing right here in front of me.’
‘Please do not say such a thing.’
‘It almost destroyed me,when I saw you lying there.’
‘It was a tad fever Benjamin.’
‘I do not care Gisele,all of my life time.I have been going through the motions living with Ana and Arthur.Looking on whilst they basque in the glory.’
‘Something you have in common with your little wifey?’
‘Craving for my moment in the sun,all of my adult lifetime spent in versailles attending countless balls,hoping that I would find the one.The fair lady who would sweep me off my feet with her spoken words.To hold my new born baby in my arms,kiss the proud Mama who has allowed this proud moment of my to come true.’
‘That is so beautiful,but Louisa can grant all of those wishes.’
‘I haven’t finished yet…Every night I sit and pray,for a beautiful angel to come to me.My Mama said to love an angel is to sin.That angel is you.’
‘I can’t do this, I’m sorry Lord Henry.’
Reeling from Lord Henry’s confessions of the soul,I walked across the landing.I heard whispers,Oliver was still standing there with that frightful woman.They looked like they were in the middle of an intimate situation,I sat down upon the steps.Mama once taught me as a child,it was rather rude to eavesdrop,today I had my reasons.
‘My Lord,you look a tad unwell?’
‘Countess,I’m perfectly fine,it’s been a trying day?’
‘I can imagine being married to her….Let me kiss all of your troubles away?’
I felt anger running through my veins.I have never felt this angry since the day Carl was taken away from me.Now today the crafty russian that she is is trying to steal my husband from right under my nose.She touched his face,and went in to kiss his lips,his touched hers briefly,he saw me lurking in the shadows.
I stood up as I was addressed.
‘It’s not what it looks like?’
‘Oh don’t let me stop you Oliver…
I turned and looked at the Countess ‘You’re welcome to my husband Countess Aleksandrov.’
I took hold of the bottom of my dress and ran upstairs.I headed to my room,closed the door behind me and sank to the ground,I felt my whole world crumble around me.I noticed that Benjamin was still sat on the bed.
‘He was with her.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘I told myself that I would allow a man to get to me in this way.How I pitied the sad desperado’s who’s husband’s have strayed from their side.I vowed that it was never going to happen to me. For I was the nymph in the marriage and he was sweet little Oliver the man who could do no wrong.I deserve everything that I get! Benjamin I’m shaking,I’m going to lose everything!’
‘You don’t know that?’
‘I am never going to see my children again.I haven’t a home to call my own.Everything will go to him…’
‘Start from the very beginning,deep breathes Gisele.’ He took hold of my hands. ‘Breathe in one two three,and out.’
‘My ribs are hurting.’ I sobbed.
‘Another deep breathe,now what did you see?’
‘Tatiana,Countess Aleksandrov had her arms draped around my husband.She’s finally dug her claws into him…they kissed,he soon stopped in tracks when he saw me.He is going to divorce me and live happily ever after with his whore.’
I went to kiss Benjamin.
‘Dont,unless you mean it?’
‘He deserves what’s coming to him.’
‘I’m sure the kiss has a simple explanation?’
‘Is this your way of rejecting me?’
‘Oliver loves the bones off you? You said so yourself,he doesn’t care for her.’
‘Perhaps my husband deceived me to throw me off the scent?’
‘Paranoia got the better of you,you’ve got trust issues? You’re looking for signs that aren’t even there? Next thing you’ll be looking for secret love letters.You’re the unfaithful wife,so you’re convinced he will do the same? Lord Rickman has so much to lose.’
‘I don’t think my husband has a conscience? He’s never really cared for me.Not like my darling Benjy.’
‘Don’t mock me Gis,you know full well I detest it when Louisa addresses me in that manner?’
‘So stop me Lord Henry,I don’t bite.’
I lay across the bed. ‘I know you want me,I am here laying everything out on a platter for you…I’m yours.’
‘I have always dreamt of this moment,you draping yourself on satin sheets.Acting all seductively,I could make love to you right here and now,as I love you so much.’
‘What’s stopping you then?’
‘I care about you too much to take advantage of your sweet nature.’
Benjamin got up to leave,I grabbed his arm.
‘Lay with me.’ I begged.
Benjamin climbed up onto the bed next to me,cradled me in his arms.Lord Henry kissed my arm,and stroked my hair.
He whispered,the hairs on the back of my neck stood up,I felt my eyes closing slowly.Listening to his calm soothing voice made me drift off into a sweet pleasant sleep.What is with this man he can send shivers down my spine,and yet make me feel safe at the same time.Oliver could come in at any moment,trying to apologise and find us laying there together and I wouldn’t care.
Dawn broke and I just lay there.I didn’t want to let go of my precious Benjamin.I opened my eyes wide.
‘You’ve been here all night?’ I smiled.
‘I couldn’t bare to leave you,besides I love watching you sleep.You were really vocal last night?’
‘Oh my!’ I blushed.
‘No need to feel embarrassed? It was kind of sweet,you said you loved me?’
There was a knock on the door.
It was Oliver,my heart stopped.
‘We need to talk.’
I looked at Benjamin ‘Quick out of the window.’ I whispered.
‘I will break my neck.’
‘The falls not so far off,if he sees you in here.He will murder thee.’
‘Very Romeo and Juliet?’
‘One last stolen kiss?’
I kissed Lord Henry.
‘Thank you for saving me,from my dignity.Benjamin I think I owe you a long overdue apology? I got you all wrong Lord Henry,I was under the impression that you only wanted me for my body?’ I pouted,twisting my hair trying my best to entice him.I then remembere that Oliver was standing on the opposite side of the door and soon awoken from my senses.I gently eased him out of the window.
‘Now go.’ I whispered.
I casually opened the door and allowed him in.
‘You have five minutes?’
‘I’m only giving you the time of day,because of my children and you’ve taken me back so many times.’
‘You weren’t meant to witness that?’
‘Does it only happen behind closed doors?’
‘Tatiana,I should have read the signs.I never should have invited her tonight.’
‘You invited her?’
‘I just thought that…because she is new to London society then what perfect way to circulate at one of Lady Antoinette’s events?’
‘The truths finally coming out now?’
‘It was an entrapment on her behalf.,you have got to believe me? I tried as I might to fight her off.I truly did.Then I saw you sitting there?’
‘You didn’t come up last night.Where you with her?’
‘I thought that it was best that I stayed out of harms way?’
‘So Lord Rickman Where do we go from here?’
‘Save the civil talk of London society,but it breaks my heart to see you address me in such a way?’
‘That’s the way it is to be your grace.’
‘Your Grace? That’s an insult…It’s like I mean nothing to you?’
I tried as hard as I might to head for the door,but it was like his voice had a powerful hold over me.Like an echoing command bellowing around the room,as though he is the King and I’m his Lady in Waiting.’
‘Gisele,you are so precious to me.I hope that you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me?’
He said those words and it finally dawned on me.He was perfectly right,I have failed on him so many times and he still managed to take me back and I had strayed far beyond the forbidden kiss.’
‘Esme and Ava has had a confusing enough time as it is.Moving from pillar to post,not having a safe and secure place of their own to lay their head.Questioning will their Mama be the next person to die.I don’t want to be their reason their Daddy disappeared too.’
‘When I saw that woman all over you,like a rash tangled in her web. I thought of as many ways I could do to possibly hurt you.I was considering sleeping with your sister’s husband!’
I stopped in my tracks. ‘I didn’t intend you to find out this way?’
‘What you were hoping that I was going to catch you into bed together? How low can you possibly get Gisele?’
‘I wanted to hit you where it truly hurt,your pride.I was about to throw everything away.Because I craved for a bit of company.When I was you alone with Tatiana,when you kissed her.A part of me died inside….I marched up to Benjamin’s door,and offered it him upon a plate.The bottom line is I just couldn’t go through with it.Because I know that you’re nothing like me.You’re caring,sweet natured.You adore me to the point that at times I like a suffocated bird desperate for air.This time I’ll be different Oliver,I promise you.’
‘Countess Aleksandrov is nothing compared to you,I’m truly sorry for how we left things?’
‘I didn’t mean to act so cold towards you.’
I draped my arms around him and kissed the back of his neck.
‘No one knows what we’ve been through.I wish I could stop you from hurting? I wish I could bring back William? I miss you so.